He's a sentimental man.
Jim: So, kay, all we need is a theme, and cups, and ice, and a cake...
Dwight: Busy!
Jim: Hey, what's that show she's always talking about?
Dwight: Oh my gosh, is this how you are with Pam? Because she must wanna shoot herself in the face.
Feb 18th
The Office.
Dwight Schrute: You have to write my suggestions down too.
Jim Halpert: I'm not writing "horse hunt." I don't even know what that means.
Dwight Schrute: It's in the name!
Jim Halpert: Ok. So far, our ideal party consists of beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, touch football, mating, raids, and yes, horse hunting.
Dwight Schrute: You're right, forget horse hunting it's stupid.
Feb 18th
Yep Dwight, I think we all loved that...
Jim Halpert: Is there a birthday that you remember that you loved?
Dwight Schrute: Here's one: it was dark, warm, wet. A sudden burst of light, an intense pressure like I'd never felt before, father dressed in white, pulls me forward, mother bites the cord--
Jim Halpert: Ok stop. Forever stop that story....
Feb 18th
Another one.
Michael Scott: I don't know you. But I need to know you in order to sell to you. That is why I have asked you to go around and tell me your names. I have an amazing mnemonic device by which I have now memorize all of your names. *pointing to people* Shirty, mole, lazy eye, Mexico, baldy, sugar boobs, black woman. I have taken a unique part of who you are, and I have used that to memorize your name. Baldy. Your head it bald. It is hairless. It is shiny. It is reflective, like a mirror. M. Your name is Mark.
Karen: That's offensive.
Michael Scott: Yes, but it works,
Feb 11th
Apparently, I'm getting married.
Mr. Stone: So when are you two getting married?
Me: Well you might want to check with your son on that one, because I don't know if he actually wants to marry someone such as I...
Mrs. Stone: Well then he better suck it up, because we already have it all arranged.
Me: Oh?
Mr. Stone: Yeah, we payed three camels, a goat, and a couple of chickens for you, so we better get our moneys worth..
Me: Well then, I'll try my best to live up to the...camels...
Feb 1st
I really can't be seen with you.
Blondie: So like, if you put a crayon up your vagina, could you have colored babies?
Other Blondie: Ohmygoshh, yeahh!!
Blondie: They'd like, bleed purple.
Me: Yeah, and if you stand in front of the microwave long enough, you'll turn into your food!
Other Blondie: *laughs* Oh Allana, you always say the stupidest things.
Feb 1st